Nightmare Honeymoon in Maui: When Paradise Goes Wrong 😅
Excited to Travel Again… Until Maui Had Other Plans
After months of wedding planning, we were beyond thrilled to be traveling again — and what better destination for a honeymoon than Maui, Hawaii? 🌺
I can’t help but laugh as I write this because, while Hawaii is usually paradise for everyone, our honeymoon didn’t exactly go as planned. From resort mix-ups to transportation troubles, we somehow turned paradise into a series of unfortunate (and hilarious) events.
A Promising Start in Paradise
After our wedding-day chaos, we were ready for smooth sailing. Our flights were perfectly on time, luggage intact, and we were greeted in Maui with a beautiful flower lei from our travel agent. Everything seemed perfect.
We checked into Mana Kai Maui Resort, thrilled by the ocean view and ready for the ultimate romantic getaway. The resort’s tagline — “Where heaven meets earth” — soon became an inside joke between us, because what followed was… not exactly heavenly. 😂
1. Resort Restaurant & Store Closed
Upon arrival, we learned that the resort’s restaurant, bar, and general store had all closed weeks earlier. Since we hadn’t rented a car, thinking we’d spend most of our time relaxing at the resort, this was not ideal.
After our long 10-hour trip, we decided to deal with it the next morning.
Highlight: We woke up early, walked down to the beach, and soaked in the sunrise. The warm breeze, golden sand, and sound of the waves turned into one of the best moments of our trip.
2. The Mystery of the “Honeymoon Package”
The next morning, I asked the front desk about our honeymoon package — champagne, chocolates, and macadamia nuts — which we had prepaid for. They claimed to have no record of it and asked for proof!
Two days (and several emails from our travel agent) later, a grocery-store bottle of champagne and a bag of nuts arrived at our room. Not quite what we imagined!
Then, to top it off, they said they could only hold our luggage until 4 p.m. on our departure day — even though our flight wasn’t until later. After more confusion (and some persistence from our travel agent), we were finally allowed to stay until 8 p.m.
Highlight: That evening’s Sunset Luau Dinner Cruise was amazing! The couple who hosted it went above and beyond with live music, dancing, and Hawaiian history. The sunset views were stunning, even without the whales. Highly recommend for anyone visiting Maui! This is a low key event. Very small. So keep that mind.
3. Stranded at the Lavender Farm 🌸
Our next adventure took us to the Kula Botanical Garden, which was cute but still recovering from storm damage. Then we headed to Ali‘i Kula Lavender Farm, a beautiful (though smaller than expected) spot filled with the scent of lavender and a cute gift shop.
Afterward, we planned to head to Maui Wine — but soon discovered there were no taxis or rideshares available in the area. After asking the staff for help, we were told cars rarely came out that far.
We ended up walking for 30 minutes down the hill in the hot sun (not exactly dressed for hiking!) before finding a driver. Our winery reservation time had passed, but at least we made it back to the resort in one piece.
Highlight: Our driver — originally from Poland — kept us entertained with conspiracy theories about Eastern Europe the entire ride back. He even recommended the resort’s “amazing restaurant,” not realizing it had closed. 😂
4. The Beach Massage Disaster 💆♀️
After all that, we decided to book a couples massage by the beach to relax. We confirmed everything by email — including that it would take place outdoors.
When the masseuse arrived, she looked shocked and said, “You expected me to fit in here?!” Confused, we explained it was supposed to be on the beach. After some back-and-forth (and getting permission from the resort), she reluctantly set up on the most crowded part of the sand.
It went downhill from there. The massage was… aggressive. When I asked for lighter pressure, she said, “Trust me, you don’t want it any lighter.” 😬 Let’s just say it wasn’t the peaceful spa moment we’d imagined. She even stuck her hand down my bikini bottoms.
Highlight: She did manage to fix my neck pain — so at least there was that!
The Bright Spots 🌴
Despite the chaos, Maui still offered some unforgettable experiences:
Sea Turtle Cove — Right by our resort. We spotted multiple sea turtles up close — a truly magical experience.
Maui Tropical Express Tour — A must-try! Affordable, fun, and the best smoothie I’ve ever had.
Ocean Vodka Distillery Tour — Educational and delicious. Fun fact: their chef once cooked for Tom Cruise! The poke bowl was incredible.
Was our Maui honeymoon perfect? Not even close. But honestly, every mishap turned into a memory (and a funny story).
If I could do it again, I’d double-check every detail — even when working with professionals. But sometimes, things just go wrong, and all you can do is laugh, stay flexible, and enjoy the ride.
Here’s to future adventures — hopefully with fewer surprises! 😂
Cupcakes & Tea with Elizabeth 