Cupcakes & Tea with Elizabeth

Tag: mindfulness

  • Finding My Voice: Reflections on Race, Resilience, and Hope

    Finding My Voice: Reflections on Race, Resilience, and Hope

    The last couple of months have been heavy — really heavy. Between living through a global pandemic and witnessing the ongoing fight against police brutality and racism, it’s been a lot to process. Today, I wanted to slow down, take a deep breath, and write from the heart about some of my personal experiences and how I’m feeling right now.

    Growing up, I had “the talk” — the one that so many Black families have. It wasn’t about birds or bees; it was about how to act around police and how to keep myself safe. I learned early on that if something ever happened, I should call my family first — not necessarily the police. It’s an unfair reality, but it’s one that has been passed down through generations.

    As someone who’s mixed, my experience has always existed in a sort of in-between space. I’ve been surrounded by love from family on all sides, but I’ve also had to sit through uncomfortable moments — moments when people questioned white privilege, dismissed “Black Lives Matter” with “Blue Lives Matter,” or ignored racism simply because it didn’t affect them personally. Those conversations hurt. They chipped away at something inside me for a while.

    But instead of letting that pain change how I see myself, it changed how I see them.
    It taught me who was willing to listen — and who wasn’t. It showed me that silence in the face of racism is just another form of harm. And though it’s exhausting to always be the one explaining why Black lives matter, I’ve learned to find strength in my voice.

    Sometimes, I still feel drained — like I’ve hit a wall. It’s frustrating to live in a world where I have to defend my humanity, to explain history that’s easily accessible if people just cared enough to learn. But at the same time, I have hope. I see friends, family, and communities showing up, speaking out, and learning how to be better allies.

    That gives me strength.
    That gives me peace.

    I’m still learning how to navigate certain relationships — especially with people I love who hold views I can’t support. But I know I’ll find what’s right for me, and I hope you will too.

    Change takes courage. It takes compassion. And it takes choosing to care, every single day. I still believe we can get there — with open hearts, honest conversations, and a shared hope for something better.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ3in6eZb9w
  • When Love Isn’t Love: Breaking Free from Emotional Convenience

    When Love Isn’t Love: Breaking Free from Emotional Convenience

    Have you ever loved someone so deeply that it consumed you? The kind of love where you give everything—your time, your energy, your heart—only to realize they keep you around simply because it’s convenient for them?

    They lie. They pull you down. You start to see it happening, yet you stay, hoping that maybe this time they’ll mean it when they say they care. Sometimes, it even feels real—and that’s what makes it so confusing.

    You keep showing up for them, giving them chance after chance, but somehow, you’re always in last place. Maybe they even tell you that outright, and suddenly you find yourself competing for a spot you should have never had to earn. They break you, tear you down, and when you’re at your lowest, they lift you just enough to keep you there—never free, never whole.

    You cry while they sleep peacefully. You replay every word while they’ve already moved on to the next distraction. They hold onto the things that matter most to you and weaponize them whenever they start to lose control.

    If this sounds familiar, I hope you hear this clearly: don’t accept it.
    End the cycle. You deserve more than love that only exists when it’s convenient.

    “The soul answered and said, What binds me has been slain, and what turns me about has been overcome, and my desire has been ended, and ignorance has died.”
    — The Gospel of Mary

  • Recognizing Manipulation and Narcissistic Behavior (and Protect Your Peace)

    Recognizing Manipulation and Narcissistic Behavior (and Protect Your Peace)

    I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how easy it is for manipulation to sneak into our lives — sometimes through relationships, friendships, or even at work. It doesn’t always start with obvious red flags. Sometimes it’s subtle — a guilt trip here, a twisted story there — until one day you realize something feels off.

    Let’s start with what manipulation actually means.

    Manipulate (verb):
    To manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner — like manipulating someone’s feelings.

    Pretty straightforward, right? But when you see it play out in real life, it can be messy and confusing.

    When Manipulation Turns Toxic

    Manipulative people tend to act with their own interests in mind. They might hurt you intentionally, then pretend nothing happened. They may even gather harmless bits of information from you — only to use it later when it benefits them.

    At its worst, this behavior can overlap with traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) — which often includes:

    • An inflated sense of self-importance
    • A deep need for attention or admiration
    • A lack of empathy for others
    • Difficulty maintaining healthy relationships

    What’s tough is that people who manipulate rarely feel genuine remorse. They might say they do, but their actions usually tell a different story. If you call them out, they’ll often deflect, deny, or make it seem like you’re the one at fault.

    The Emotional “Gotcha” Game

    Have you ever had someone deliberately push your buttons, just to get a reaction?
    That’s exactly what manipulators want — an emotional “aha!” moment. They’ll poke at your insecurities or twist your words until you snap, then say things like:

    “See, I knew you were overreacting.”
    “You’re always so dramatic.”

    Sound familiar? It’s a classic move to shift blame and make you doubt yourself. But here’s the truth — your reaction is valid. Their behavior is what caused it, not you. The best way to handle it? Stay calm, breathe, and don’t let them drag you into their chaos.

    Listen to Your Gut

    Your intuition is powerful. If you feel uneasy around someone or constantly second-guess yourself, that’s not “overthinking” — that’s awareness. Trust it.

    Manipulators often start off charming and attentive, giving you all the validation you could want. Then, little by little, they pull away — leaving you wondering what changed. That emotional whiplash keeps you hooked, trying to get back to the version of them that doesn’t really exist.

    You don’t owe anyone endless chances or explanations. Protect your energy. If something feels off, it probably is.

    Believe it! Trust your intuition.

    Examples of Manipulative Behavior

    Manipulative or narcissistic individuals may:

    • Intentionally hurt you, then act like nothing happened.
    • Use your words or vulnerabilities against you later.
    • Twist facts or shift blame with phrases like “That’s up to you, believe what you want.”
    • Refuse to take responsibility, making you feel like the problem.
    • Withdraw affection or attention to keep you chasing their approval.

    These patterns are emotionally exhausting — and you don’t have to tolerate them. Awareness is the first step toward protecting yourself and building healthier relationships.

    Final Thoughts

    No one is perfect. We all have moments where we act selfishly or fail to communicate clearly. The difference lies in whether someone is willing to listen, learn, and grow — or whether they keep repeating the same harmful patterns.

    The key takeaway? Stay aware. Trust your gut. Set boundaries.
    And remember — manipulation says far more about them than it ever does about you.

  • After All Tomorrow Is Another Day – Losing a Grandparent

    After All Tomorrow Is Another Day – Losing a Grandparent

    “We’re at the age where we’re starting to lose people.”

    That’s what my friend said as we sat across from each other at a local coffee shop — two friends who hadn’t seen each other in months but picked up like no time had passed.

    During the conversation, we spoke about loved ones who had left us this year. I explained how I had seen a loved one’s body minutes after their soul had left. I almost couldn’t believe it was the same person. There was nothing behind their eyes. I was taken back by the blank stare, and the body reminded me of wax. I will never forget this image, and sometimes I wish I could. However, this image also seems to give me peace. I believe his soul had left his body and moved on to a better place.

    I’m not sure what I believe in, but I know that there is a God. Sometimes I wonder if those who have so little confidence in God are the ones who have never seen a body without a soul.