Tag: iowa

  • A Teenager, a Rumor, and a Lesson in Compassion

    A Teenager, a Rumor, and a Lesson in Compassion

    Now that I’ve told you about that one high school disaster, I have to tell you about the other one — because of course there’s more than one.

    I was reminded of this whole saga recently while catching up with one of my closest childhood friends at our annual Christmas meetup. We always slip into reminiscing mode: childhood memories, inside jokes, and yes… the high school stories that make us cringe and laugh at the same time.

    Cheer Tryouts at 6 AM (Because Why Not?)

    Picture 14-year-old me: excited, hopeful, and trying out for cheerleading. The tryouts were held before school at 6 AM. And being 14, I did not think to bring an extra outfit or shower supplies. So I went straight to class feeling… let’s say “less than fresh.”

    Facepalm doesn’t even begin to cover it.

    My first class of the day was jewelry art with a few close friends. I kept joking about how gross I felt and even made a ridiculous comment about rubbing my friend’s Pepsi on me to mask the smell. Why Pepsi? I truly don’t know — but at the time, it felt hilarious in that “we’re young and delirious” high school way.

    My friends reassured me that I didn’t smell, told me everything was fine, and we carried on like normal. At least… I thought we did.

    The Mysterious Escort to the Office

    The day continued until English class. As I approached the door, I saw my teacher standing beside a woman I didn’t recognize — possibly a secretary? Before I could even cross the threshold, the secretary stopped me:

    “You need to come to the office.”

    And me? Being the cheerful, naive little freshman I was, I responded, “Oh! Sure, I can!” with a literal skip in my step. I had absolutely no idea what was about to happen.

    I was seated in a chair outside an office, tucked in a hallway past the lobby. With a few minutes to kill, I pulled out my bronzer compact and touched up my makeup like I was backstage at America’s Next Top Model. Tyra Banks and Snooki would’ve been so proud. Present-day me cringes at the memory.

    The Interrogation Begins

    A blonde woman eventually appeared and led me into an office. I chirped a friendly “Hello!” because… well, I was 14 and friendly.

    She was not.

    “Elizabeth.”
    Cold. Flat. Disapproving.

    Then, after clearing her throat, her voice dropped an octave:
    “Elizabeth, have you been doing something you shouldn’t?”

    I froze. I didn’t know who she was, why I was here, or what on earth she was implying. I stammered, “No… I don’t think so. What do you mean?”

    She stared at me blankly before snapping, “You know what I mean!”

    I felt fear rising in my chest. Tears welled in my eyes — which only made things worse. She mocked me:

    “Oh wow. You’re quite emotional, aren’t you? Why are you so emotional?”

    Her tone, her expression… everything about her said she had already judged me. Already decided who I was. I felt completely trapped.

    She stormed out, demanding to know “what I was even doing out there,” and the secretary casually replied, “She was just sitting out here doing her makeup like it was nothing.”

    My bronzer compact suddenly felt like Exhibit A in a crime I did not commit.

    Panicked, I texted my brother on my little flip phone:
    “They think I’ve been doing something!! What do I do????”
    He, unfortunately, was asleep.

    Enter: The Vice Principal

    The blonde woman returned with the Vice Principal — a man who already creeped out most of the student body. Rumors had swirled after a shirtless photo of him (tribal tattoo and all) circulated around school, followed by whispers of inappropriate behavior with female students.

    This did not help my anxiety.

    “We’re going to have to breathalyze you,” he said sternly.

    I was literally shaking as I blew into the tube. Of course it showed I hadn’t been drinking — I was the most straight-laced kid. I didn’t even think drinking was an option for me.

    But the humiliation was already done.

    Next, they dragged me down the hallway to search my locker. If they were looking for lip gloss and Twilight novels, they would have struck gold. But alcohol? Obviously not.

    They found nothing and finally sent me off to class, shaken and humiliated.

    So What Actually Happened?

    The administration didn’t even call my parents. They didn’t try to understand. They didn’t care.

    But they did email the cheerleading coach to report “an incident.”

    It turns out a group of senior girls from my jewelry art class had overheard my silly comments about smelling gross. Instead of minding their own business, they drew a map of the art room, put an X where I sat, and reported — in writing — that I had been drinking.

    I thought their staring earlier was because I actually smelled. But no. They were taking notes like undercover agents in the world’s most pointless sting operation.

    One of those girls is now a police officer, and while I hope she’s grown since high school… I can’t help but worry about discrimination and abuse of power when I remember how casually they lied about me. Even after it was proven false, they kept bragging that they “got me in trouble.” I ran into her years later and asked her about this ordeal, and why it happened. She put the blame on another girl and said it was because she could.

    The Aftermath

    This whole ordeal shattered my trust in my high school’s administration. I was a naive, emotional freshman who made one silly comment about body odor — and suddenly adults were breathalyzing me, mocking me, and treating me like a criminal.

    I truly hope schools handle situations like this differently today.

    High school feels huge when you’re in it, but in the grand scheme of life, it’s just a small chapter — even if some moments stick with us forever.

    Do you have any stories from high school that still make you cringe, laugh, or both?
    Share them below — I’d love to hear them.




  • That One Time in French Class…

    That One Time in French Class…

    You know those random memories that pop into your head out of nowhere and make you instantly cringe? That was me this morning on my drive to work. Out of the blue, I remembered one of my most embarrassing high school moments — and honestly, it still makes me laugh and cringe all at once.

    It was 2011, and I was a shy sophomore in my beginner’s French class. At the start of the year, we all got to choose a “French name” to go by for the semester. I picked Zazie (because someone else had already snagged Gigi, and yes, I was slightly bitter about it 😆).

    One day, I arrived to class a few minutes early and asked to use the bathroom. Totally normal, right? But as I’m in there minding my own business, I suddenly hear my teacher’s voice — calling out “Zazie!” in a perfect French accent. I froze mid-sentence (and mid-bathroom break). My first thought? Wait… did she follow me in here? It was so weird that I just stayed quiet, hoping I was imagining it.

    A few minutes later, the bell rings, and I walk back to class, proud of myself for not being late. But the second I walk in, the entire room is silent. My teacher stands up, looks right at me, and asks me to step into the hallway. I was so sure she was about to praise me or something — because that’s what she usually did when she pulled students aside.

    Nope.
    She accused me of lying about being in the bathroom.

    My jaw dropped. I was mortified. I told her I really was in the bathroom, and that I did hear her voice, but thought it was weird and didn’t know how to respond. She just shook her head and said, “No, you didn’t. You need to tell your friends what to do,” before walking back into the classroom — leaving the door wide open for everyone to hear.

    And there I was, bright red, walking back into class like nothing happened. Everyone stared for a second, then the lesson just… continued.

    Now, years later, it’s one of those stories that makes me laugh every time. I still have no idea why she thought I was lying, but I’ll never forget how small that moment made me feel — or how it quietly taught me to always speak up when someone gets it wrong.

    It’s funny how embarrassing moments can turn into lifelong lessons.
    (But seriously — what was that whole bathroom situation?!) 😂

    Do you have a high school story that still makes you cringe or laugh out loud? Drop it in the comments below — misery loves company!

    Drop some of your stories below!



    Recent Posts:

    Easy Irish-Inspired Comfort Recipes for Winter Nights

    Warm up your winter with cozy, Irish-inspired comfort foods. From buttery colcannon and easy homemade sausage rolls to a rich Slow Cooker Guinness Beef Stew, these hearty dishes bring a touch of Ireland to your kitchen. Simple, rustic, and full of flavor — perfect for cold nights and busy days.

    Cozy Holiday Traditions I’m Bringing Into Motherhood

    Cozy blankets, twinkling lights, and slow Christmas mornings—this year, I’m leaning into simple, meaningful holiday traditions as a mom. From stockings “delivered” by Santa to Butter Braids, Christmas Eve church, family photos with our pup, and intentional gift-giving, these are the sweet, heartwarming rituals that make the season feel like home. Perfect inspiration for families,…

  • Things to Do in Ames, Iowa (From a Local!)

    Things to Do in Ames, Iowa (From a Local!)

    Ames, IA — gotta give my hometown some love! I’ve lived here since I was born, and it will always hold a special place in my heart. Whether you’re a prospective student visiting Iowa State University or just passing through central Iowa, there are so many hidden gems worth checking out.

    🦆 Mucky Duck Pub

    The Mucky Duck Pub is hands-down one of my favorite spots in Ames. The food is great, the atmosphere is cozy, and they even carry treats from across the pond. When I was in France, my mom introduced me to her favorite candy bar — the Lion Bar — and I was thrilled to find it again here. Total nostalgia moment!

    If you get the chance, stop by on St. Patrick’s Day for their buffet-style Irish breakfast. My Irish ancestry is thankful… but my diabetes? Not so much. 😅

    🍜 Grandpa Noodle Gallery

    This local favorite was run by two Iowa State grads and featured incredible noodle dishes made with locally sourced ingredients. My go-to order was the “create your own noodles” — mixing sauces, veggies, and toppings into the perfect comfort meal. Sadly, they closed at the end of 2019, but I’ll always have fond memories (and a few noodle cravings).

    💉 Hugo and Mump’s Heroic Ink

    When it comes to tattoos and piercings in Ames, Heroic Ink is the only place I trust. Tracy is my artist of choice — she’s talented, professional, and always makes sure I’m comfortable and informed.

    Bonus: every so often, Hugo teaches monster-drawing classes at the Workspace in the Memorial Union. And if you’re looking for a fun Friday night activity, check out their Paint Your Own Pottery workshops — it’s such a relaxing, creative way to end the week!

    💆 Pure Luxe Salon and Spa

    Pure Luxe is one of my favorite salons in town. The team is incredibly friendly, and they genuinely care about their clients and the community. Fridays are especially great — they offer $5 waxes, which is perfect if you’re on a beauty budget. Trust me, you’ll leave feeling pampered and refreshed.

    🎨 Siricasso

    If you haven’t heard of Siricasso, you’re missing out. He’s a wildly talented local artist who creates custom designs on jackets, shoes, and murals — pretty much anything you can dream up. Check out his Facebook page to see his work. I absolutely love my customized jacket from him! #SaveTheArt


    Ames may be a small town, but it’s full of creativity, flavor, and good people. Whether you’re here for school, visiting family, or just exploring, I hope you’ll enjoy these local favorites as much as I do.

    What are your go-to spots in Ames? Let me know in the comments — I’d love to check them out!



  • My Consent Project (Paper)

    My Consent Project (Paper)

    As an adult, exploring how young people communicate about consent has always interested me. I had a fantastic time collecting and analyzing data for my capstone project. This post features the final paper of a project that a partner and I completed. The results were presented in a final research paper and presentation. If you’d like to take a look at our paper, I’ve posted it below. For my thoughts on how we can change rape culture, take a look at Consent in the USA.

    ABSTRACT 

    It’s no secret that casual sex is becoming more and more accepted in today’s culture. Unfortunately, sexual assaults and non-consensual sex are still very prevalent in today’s society as well. There is certainly more of an awareness of this subject, which has created a spotlight on the importance of acknowledging consent during sexual activity. Women and men are beginning to build a culture centered on consent. This qualitative study researches the communication aspect of consent among young adults. This study draws from interviews regarding the communication behind consent of eight young adults. Major findings from these interviews indicated how the nature of the relationship, the timing of the conversation, and verbal and nonverbal messages are all critical factors when considering a conversation about consent. This study aims to help bring awareness to the importance of having a conversation about sexual consent with romantic partners. 

     INTRODUCTION

    According to the National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention, Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey, 1998, “1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime.” Today many activist groups fight for women’s rights, and as a subtopic of that issue comes consent. For example, FATTA, a Swedish organization, fights to change rape culture to consent culture. In popular media, awareness of rape culture and consent has become a prominent issue (FATTA, n.d).

    Women and men are beginning to concentrate on having a culture that is consent oriented… In the past, women were ostracized for sexual behaviors, whether the behavior was agreed upon by both parties or was forced. Consent is now becoming a conversation that happens in homes, political arenas, mainstream culture, and social media. This burst of conversation brings up how difficult conversations were handled in the past and how conversations are happening in the present. Consent can bring out discussions of rape, violence, and relationships, which can be difficult topics.

      LITERATURE REVIEW

    Previous research has found that difficult conversations can impact the health and structure of a relationship (Keating, D. M., Russell, J. C., Cornacchione, J., & Smith, S. W, 2013). Regarding consent, another study looked at the impact of sexual consent between men and women. The researchers found verbal statements by women that communicated consent were clearer than communicating with non-verbals to men (Lim, Grace Y., & Roloff, Michael E, 1999). In the past, consent has been an important topic to understand, as well. For example, one study looked into consent in the health field and expressed the importance of properly explaining consent to the patients that participated (Rosser, et al., 2009). A previous study, that focused on difficult conversations between offenders and their probation officer, found that women who were scared or worried about their freedom, would not initiate conversation. The researcher’s studied why these difficult conversations were not initiated. However, when offenders perceived their probation officers as having the proper resources to assist them, they were more likely to engage in difficult conversations (Spencer, 2013). This applies to our study, and overall, this leads us to see that men tend to have a powerful position in American culture, similarly to how probation officers have power over the female convicts. This culture can influence how we communicate about difficult topics such as consent. 

    Young adults that are sexually active seem to be following a culture of “hooking up.” Young adults are not necessarily in relationships or even know the person, but may still be involved in sexual activity. This causes issues of consent when it comes to said sexual activity. The goal of this study is to answer why or find how, if at all, young adults communicate about consent in sexual encounters and relationships. We expect to find that young adults may start to communicate about consent as the relationship grows rather than in the initial developing stages of a relationship. We figure that when a young adult feels their sexual partner is accepting, it is more likely that a potentially uncomfortable conversation about consent will be held before the sexual encounter. Therefore, if it seems neither party is comfortable having the discussion, consent will not be verbalized or given in these instances. In some cases, this can lead to confusion due to cultural norms.

    Additionally, we think that culture plays a large part in this ambiguity over consent. A study researching German heterosexual men who consume pornography more frequently are more likely to engage in dominant male behaviors, including playing out situations of forced sex (Wright, 2015). This desire to play out situations of forced sex can be seen as discouraging for having a conversation about consent and may be less receptive to its importance.This research study is unique by researching how young adults communicate about consent in a culture that encourages “hooking up” but is shifting towards a consent culture. Uncertainty Reduction theory will guide this study. This study’s focal point will be mainly on how young adults communicate about consent, if at all, and when that conversation takes place.

    HOOKUP CULTURE

    Today, many young adults in America are finding themselves in a hookup culture that is starting to shift towards a consent culture. For the purpose of this study, the definition below is how we are defining hookup culture. 

    ==== “Hookup culture is the dominant relational context of sex is of a casual nature. Casual sexual encounters involve people engaging in oral sex, anal sex, or coital sex with someone they are not dating or in a romantic relationship with. Moreover, there is an understanding that no commitment is involved and that none should be expected from either partner” (Fielder & Carey,2010; Owen, Rhoades, Stanley, & Fincham, 2010). 

    Hookup culture has been studied but is a recent topic within the last decade. This research study defined hookup culture similarly as the definition above.” Casual sex can take place as a one-time occurrence or can occur multiple times with the same partner, but the premise of no commitment remains intact” (Heldman & Wade, 2010). While researching hookup culture, we found that most of the data started around 2009. “A hookup culture, the predominant form of engaging in sexual relations is the hookup—that is, the act of having sex with a partner on casual terms and outside of a committed romantic relationship” (Grello, Welsh, & Harper, 2006; Stinson, 2010). So in all, there seems to be a consensus that hookup culture involves sexual activity without commitment. In a study examining first date goals, men were more likely to be pursuing the goal of having sex more often than women. Women are more likely to go on first dates with the purpose of companionship (Mongeau, Jacobsen, Donnerstein 2007). This study’s findings can contribute to the expectation of consenting to sexual activity without actually verbally consenting to sexual activity. 

    Over the past decade, several popular books have been published dealing with the topic of difficult conversations (Cloud & Townsend, 2005; Dickson, 2006; Kosmoski & Pollack, 2005; MacDonald, 2004). Our difficult topic will be on consent and how young adults converse about consent in a hookup culture that is shifting towards a consent culture. This study will consider difficult conversations, as written below. “Difficult conversations have been described as emotionally-charged discussions characterized by uncertainty” (Browning, Meyer, Truog, & Solomon, 2007). Uncertainty Reduction Theory proposes that people need to reduce skepticism or uncertainty by gaining information about one another. Gaining information is part of relationship development (Berger & Bradac, 1982). In a study examining communicating about safer sex involving transgender adults, participants described new sexual relationships as being “highly uncertain and, thus, inherently risky and viewed safer sex communication as a means of uncertainty and risk reduction” (Kosenko, 2011). Uncertainty Reduction Theory predicts individuals will use multiple forms of information-seeking methods when interacting with another individual for the first time (Berger & Calabrese, 1975). We propose that uncertainty between two potential sexual partners should lead to a conversation regarding consent of sexual activity.

    Uncertainty in relationships will spark information-seeking behaviors, and that uncertainty reduction will increase the level of intimacy between interpersonal relationships (Theiss & Solomon, 2008). Also, individuals do not like to feel uncertain about interpersonal relationships and are motivated to resolve uncertainty if future interactions are anticipated, and the relationship is seen as rewarding (Theiss & Solomon 2008). If a future interaction of a sexual nature is considered rewarding and the goal of a first date, we figure that because of the shift towards a consent culture, more uncertainty will arise from a lack of conversation about consent. And because of this uncertainty, individuals are more likely to participate in a potentially difficult conversation about sexual consent to alleviate anxieties stemming from uncertainty. 

    SEXUAL CONSENT

    For this study, we will define sexual consent as sexual activity, kissing, oral, or penetration that has been agreed upon by all parties. “This paper conceives of sexual consent as knowing and voluntary agreement to have sexual intercourse. To understand how sexual consent is attributed, the authors examine the relative impact of nonverbal, verbal, and contextual cues on perceptions of impaired judgment, coercion, consent, appropriateness of sexual intercourse, and rape” (Lim, Grace, & Roloff,1999). The increase undoubtedly aids this rise in sexual activity among uncommitted interpersonal relationships in internet dating users. This rise in use has raised concerns about the potential dangers of meeting unfamiliar people online and the threats of sexual predators (Gibbs et al. 2011). This threat makes a conversation about consent vital to ensuring both partners’ comfortability and agreement to sexual activity. In a study observing men’s and women’s behaviors in a speed dating setting, men’s movement led to a more dominating perception by using “flamboyant” hand gestures and large motions to exemplify their conversation. In reaction, the women in the study had body movement that was more docile and reserved. Women also engaged in nonverbal behavior that reinforced the men’s communication with actions such as nodding in agreement or approval, smiling, and kept their eyes on the man in front of them (Deyo, Walt, & Davis 2011). This male domination and female submission in a date setting can make the assumption that both parties consent to sexual activity when that may not be accurate. By having an open conversation about consent to sexual activity, uncertainty reduction theory will be at play. Communication “plays a key role in this process as it is through communication that uncertainty is reduced. As such, interpersonal relationships develop among strangers as interactants communicate to reduce their uncertainty and get to know each other by gaining greater knowledge and mutual understanding” (Gibbs et al. 2011). We believe that uncertainty regarding consent is on the rise because of the shift towards a consent culture; thus, conversations about consenting to sexual activity will also be on the rise. 

      RATIONALE

     This research study aims to add a communication view of a topic that has not been extensively studied by communication scholars (Harris, 2018). Our study constructs include hookup culture, sexual consent, and difficult conversations.

    RQ1 How do young adults negotiate communication about sexual consent with potential romantic partners?

    Previous research has found that difficult conversations can impact the health and structure of a relationship. (Keating, D. M., Russell, J. C., Cornacchione, J., & Smith, S. W, 2013). Regarding specifically consent, another study looked at the impact of sexual consent between men and women. The researchers found verbal statements by women that communicated consent were clearer than communicating with non-verbals to men (Lim, Grace Y., & Roloff, Michael E, 1999). 

    In a study observing men’s and women’s behaviors in a speed dating setting, men’s movement led to a more dominating perception by using “flamboyant” hand gestures and large motions to exemplify their conversation. In reaction, the women in the study had body movement that was more docile and reserved. Women also engaged in nonverbal behavior that reinforced the men’s communication with actions such as nodding in agreement or approval, smiling, and kept their eyes on the man in front of them (Deyo, Walt, & Davis 2011). This male domination and female submission in a date setting can make the assumption that both parties consent to sexual activity when that may not be accurate. Due to this difference in power in conversations, we expect to find that potential romantic partners are more likely to have a conversation in one way or another about consent when the female partner senses that the male will be receptive to her message. When there is uncertainty about how one partner will receive the message, we believe that messages about consent will be less clear and apparent, leading to potential misunderstanding or misinterpretations about consent. 

     METHOD

    This research study was conducted through face-to-face interviews. The interviews took place in a private room and lasted between 15 to 30 minutes. Participants had to be between the ages of 18 through 25 and sexually active to participate. Research in this field has been done with both qualitative and quantitative methods. For this study, we believe qualitative will work best since previous research has used both methods, but has not extensively been researched by communication scholars. Since communication scholars have not researched this topic extensively, we must start with qualitative research (Harris, 2018). In support of this, another study made note that their quantitative study was informed by previous in-depth qualitative studies (Smith & Aubrey, 2008 )Kosenko, 2011, interviewed transgender adults about safer sex with a qualitative interview. This study recruited participants by posting information on online bulletins. This study chose to do qualitative interviews with a topic concerning sex; we did something similar in our research. Stepp, 2007, used qualitative interviews for her study on hookup culture, which is a piece of this study. Paul, E.L. & Hayes, K.A., 2002, used qualitative interviews to look into hookup culture with college students. In all, previous studies investigating hook up culture, and qualitative interviews were at the core of their methods.

    PARTICIPANTS

    Participants were willing males and females, who were between the ages of 18-25 and, have been sexually active. To recruit, information was given out about participating in the study to classmates and to peers in our personal circles. Then, posted information regarding the study on our personal social media platforms. Finally, we received participants by referral. We recruited participants from ages 18-25 due to looking at a specific generation of people who have been sexually active during this research study. 

    Overall, we recruited 8 participants. The ages ranged from 21 years to 25 years old, with the median age being 22.6 years old. There were two male participants and six female participants. All of our participants identified themselves as white or Caucasian. Educational backgrounds from these individuals ranged from high school graduates to college graduates.

    PROCEDURES

    For the interviews, a semi-structured interview was best for this study since this is a sensitive, interesting topic. The interview worked best to stray from the interview questions at hand to elaborate on their answers using the secondary questions. 

    During the interview, the interviewer collected the participant’s age, gender, and what generations they considered themselves to belong to. This interview was centered on how participants felt about previous experiences that relate to how they negotiate or communicate about sexual consent in today’s changing society. This relates to our research questions since they focus on communication regarding sexual consent with potential partners. Since our interviews as semi-structured and voluntary, some interviews may run at different lengths. However, interviews lasted around 20 to 30 minutes. Participant responses were recorded through audio and we took notes as well. The audio recordings are transcribed using Temi.com. This website transcribed the audio for us. Mistakes were still made during the process, so we listened to the audio while revising the transcription from temi.com, to correct it. In order to participate, participants were required to be audiotaped. We did not have any objections. It was made clear while recruiting participants that it will be audio recorded. In addition, it was made clear that their given names would not be used. A random name selection was used to provide anonymity. 

    To transcribe our videos we used the website Temi.com and went through and corrected the transcripts to match our audio with any discrepancies. Currently, we have 40 pages of transcript. 

    DATA ANALYSIS AND VERIFICATION 

    Narrative analysis was used for this study. Many participants shared experiences and past events. These narratives were important to the research because it helped the researchers discover how consent was thought about and discussed on an individual level. Per interview we had around 7 pages of notes. During the interview, participants were asked: 

    How did you and your partner go about discovering if the other wanted to engage in sexual activity?

    This allowed and prompted storytelling. This research study used member checking and peer debriefing for verification procedures. Member checking was executed by research partners swapping transcripts and ensuring there is a consensus on the coding of the interview. Additionally, participants were shown the transcripts that include our themes and labels. Then, participants were able to give their opinion on whether their thoughts were captured accurately. 

      RESULTS

    This study conducted interviews on the topic of consent from a communications point of view, that has not been studied extensively in this field. Themes found during this study were relationships or timing, nonverbal communication, and verbal communication. In all, we interviewed eight people. These identified themes work together to bring clarity about at what point do individuals feel comfortable having a conversation about consent depending on the nature of the relationship, and also how that conversation is negotiated whether it be nonverbal or verbal communication. 

    Non-direct Communication

    The first theme is non-direct communication, which deals with nonverbal communication. This came up within every interview. This was a cue for how young adults would communicate about consent. Nonverbal communication is defined as communication without spoken word. Non-direct communication was identified from the transcript with words such as, non-verbal, nonverbal zone, body language, unspoken action, unspoken signals, and movements. Agatha, one of the participants mentions nonverbal communication in the quote below.

    “There were other times where it was not unspoken and it was just like those low movement towards something. So, if like if you were not OK with that, there was a chance for you to say, ‘Hey, no, I’m not cool with that.’ But mostly it was just like semi-spoken, usually.’”

    Direct Communication

    Direct communication is another theme found in this study. A part of direct communication is verbal communication. Verbal communication is the spoken word. This direct communication also implies that the messages about consent were not vaguely described. Individuals who described relationships where both partners were committed to each other described the need for at least the initial sexual encounter to have a clear “yes” from both partners. 

    Words such as verbal, explicit, verbal agreement, verbal message, ask, the word “okay”, talk, and face to face. Below, there will be an example for our participant when asked how they define consent.

    “It is informed. So, you know what you are agreeing to. So, if you say yes, you won’t be surprised with what you’re getting into. But it has to be verbal. It has to be clear and uncoerced… It’s really important to be explicit”

    In all but one interview, participants stressed the importance of a verbal and explicit message about the act of sexual activity they are hoping to participate in.

    Relationship Timing

    Relationship timing is another theme of this study. To this study, it is considered to be the level of comfort felt in the relationship.

    In this study, words associated with relationship timing include uncomfortable, comfort, trust, awkward, embarrassing, open, transparent, knowledge, education, and nurturing. One participant described his experiences with how he approached talking about wanting to engage in sexual activity with his new girlfriend. He believes he was able to have this conversation with such ease because he had known his partner for a long time. At the time of the conversation about consent, the two had not officially begun dating. However, they had known each other for years and had been close friends, and the participant described wanting to be sure his partner felt as comfortable as possible. 

    In this study, we found it is important to mention that there seems to be changing norms about consent. One thing noticed is that communication about consent is changing. More people are moving towards a more direct communication style regarding consent. Currently, it seems we are shifting to making consent a communication norm. As this hookup culture increases, there is an increase in communication about consent. For example, today, there’s communication about consent in education and the media. Many participants noted how important that think consent education is, whether that be mentioning it during sex education in school or in a conversation at home with a child’s parents. A general consensus on the importance of learning about what consent is at a young age was evidently important to most of the participants. 

    DISCUSSION 

     The purpose of this study is to provide information about how young adults negotiate communication about consent. Private interviews were conducted for this study, and the length of time was around twenty minutes. Participants were willing male and female, young adults who were under the age of twenty-five. 

     “Teach Skills to Prevent Sexual Violence,’ the report says colleges should focus on ‘providing definitions of consent’ and ‘implementing affirmative consent policies’” (Dills, Fowler, & Payne, 2016). From this quote, which refers to an article from the Centers of Disease Control, our study’s participants’ comments on having knowledge and education about consent is a discussion around reducing uncertainty by using educational tools to communicate about consent. “By including these statements under a heading about prevention, the CDC implies that if students know enthusiastic, verbal agreement constitutes consent, colleges can prevent rape” (Harris, 2017). 

    “In Asking for It, a Media Education Foundation video shown at many US universities, philosopher Harry Brod advocates that consent must always be explicit and verbal” (Jhally, 2010). From Brod’s research study, this study can conclude that the importance of verbal communication regarding consent to be explicit and verbal, as mentioned by the participants. 

    According to, Harris 2017, “When asserting consent must be verbal, Brod says, ‘The danger in body language is that it’s just too easily misinterpreted.’” Many participants discussed that verbal communication was preferred over nonverbal communication. This seems to align well with what Harris cites from Brod. As previously stated, from a study that observed men’s and women’s behaviors in a speed dating setting, men’s movement led to a more dominating perception. In reaction, the women in the study had body movements that were reserved. Women also engaged in nonverbal behavior that reinforced the men’s communication with actions such as nodding in agreement or approval, smiling, and kept their eyes on the man in front of them (Deyo, Walt, & Davis 2011). This male domination and female submission can contribute to the assumption that both parties consent to sexual activity when that may not be accurate.

    Some limitations to be noted are concerning the demographics of our participants. Due to the pool of participants being small, there were no homosexual individuals interviewed for this study. Due to society’s standard of coital sex, as opposed to other sexual acts and being a part of a marginalized group, results may be different. Future research should discover if same-sex couples negotiate communication about consent any different than heterosexual couples. Additionally, all participants identified as white or Caucasian. Future research should ask if people of color to express concerns or reduce uncertainty about their sexual relationships and consent the same way or be sure to include more marginalized groups in the study. Sexual consent and navigating a form of conversation about consent is every sexually active person’s responsibility. With an increased occurrence of individuals not only assuming their partners are consenting to a sexual act, but the rate of non-consensual activity will also naturally decline. Due to the hookup culture we are in, and we think that even if these conversations may be difficult, they are worth having to ensure both partners want the activity.

     REFERENCES

    Altman, I., & Taylor, D. (1987). Communication in interpersonal relationships: Social
     ===Penetration Theory. In M. E. Roloff and G. R. Miller (Eds.), Interpersonal processes: ===New directions in communication research, 257-277. Newbury Park, CA: Sage.
    ===Berger, C. R., & Bradac, J. J. (1982). Language and social knowledge: Uncertainty in ===interpersonal relations. London: Arnold.Berger, C. R., & Calabrese, R. J. (1975). Some Explorations in Initial Interaction and ===Beyond: Toward a Theory of Interpersonal Communication. Human ===Communication Research, 199-112.

    Browning, D. M., Meyer, E. C., Truog, R. D., & Solomon, M. Z. (2007). Difficult ===conversations in health care: Cultivating relational learning to address the hidden ===curriculum. Academic Medicine, 82, 905913. doi:10.1097/ACM.0b013e31812f77b9
    ===Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (2005). How to have that difficult conversation you’ve ===been avoiding. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.Deyo, J., Walt, P., & Davis, L. (2011). Rapidly Recognizing Relationships: Observing Speed ===Dating in the South. Qualitative Research Reports In Communication, 12(1), 71-78. ===doi:10.1080/17459435.2011.601527

    Dills, J., Fowler, D., & Payne, G.(2016). Sexual violence on campus: Strategies for ===prevention. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers ===for Disease Control and ===Prevention. Retrieved from ===https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/campussvprevention.pdf [Google   ==Scholar], p. 15).Dunleavy, K. N., & Booth-Butterfield, M. (2009). Idiomatic Communication in the Stages ===of Coming Together and Falling Apart. Communication Quarterly, 57(4), 416-432. ===doi:10.1080/01463370903320906

    FATTA. (n.d.). Mot sexuellt våld, för samtycke! Retrieved February 01, 2018, from
    ===http://fatta.nu

    Fielder, R. L., & Carey, M. P. (2010). Prevalence and characteristics of sexual hookups ===among first-semester female college students.Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 36 ===, 346–359.Gibbs, J. L., Ellison, N. B., & Lai, C. (2011). First Comes Love, Then Comes Google: An ===Investigation of Uncertainty Reduction Strategies and Self-Disclosure in Online ===Dating. Communication Research, 38(1), 70-100. doi:10.1177/0093650210377091

    Harris, K. (2018). Yes means yes and no means no, but both these mantras need to go: ===communication myths in consent education and anti-rape activism, Journal
     ===of Applied Communication Research, DOI: 10.1080/00909882.2018.1435900

    Heldman, C., & Wade, L. (2010). Hook-up culture: Setting a new research agenda.Sex ===Research and Social Policy, 7 , 323–333.

    Jhally, S. (2010). Asking for it: The ethics and erotics of sexual consent; a lecture with Dr. ===Harry Brod[Video/DVD]. Northampton, MA: Media Education Foundation.

    Keating, D. M., Russell, J. C., Cornacchione, J., & Smith, S. W. (2013). Family ===Communication Patterns and Difficult Family Conversations. Journal Of Applied ===Communication Research, 41(2), 160-180. doi:10.1080/00909882.2013.781659Kosenko, K. A. (2011). The Safer Sex Communication of Transgender Adults: Processes ===and Problems. Journal Of Communication, 61(3), 476-495. ===doi:10.1111/j.1460-===2466.2011.01556.xLim, Grace Y., & Roloff, Michael E. (1999). Attributing sexual consent. Journal of Applied ===Communication Research, 27(1), 1.Mongeau, P. A., Jacobsen, J., & Donnerstein, C. (2007). Defining Dates and First Date ===Goals: Generalizing From Undergraduates to Single Adults. Communication== ===Research34(5), 526-547.National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention, Prevalence, ===Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey (1998)Owen, J. J., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., & Fincham, F. D. (2010).‘‘Hooking up’’ among ===college students: Demographic and psychosocial correlates. Archives of Sexual
    ===Behavior,39, 653–663
    Paul, E.L. & Hayes, K.A. (2002). The casualties of ‘casual’ sex: A qualitative exploration
    ===of the phenomenology of college students’ hookups. Journal of Social and Personal ===Relationships, 19, 639-661Rosser, B. S., Gurak, L., Horvath, K. J., Oakes, J. M., Konstan, J., & Danilenko, G. P. (2009). ===The Challenges of Ensuring Participant Consent in Internet-based Sex Studies: A ===Case Study of the Men’s INTernet Sex (MINTS-I and II) Studies. Journal Of Mediated ===Communication, 14(3), 602-626. doi:10.1111/j.1083-6101.2009.01455.

    Russell, J. C., Keating, D. M., Cornacchione, J. J., & Smith, S. W. (2012, November). An ===initial investigation of difficult conversations in families from a multiple goals ===perspective. Paper presented at the convention of the National Communication ===Association, Orlando, FL.

    Smith, S., & Aubrey, J. (2008). Exploring the Hookup Culture: Factors Involved in the ===Endorsement of Hookup Culture. Conference Papers — National Communication ===Association, 1.Spencer, L. G. (2013). Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori and Possibilities for a ===Progressive Civility. Southern Communication Journal, 78(5), 447-465. ===doi:10.1080/1041794X.2013.847480

    Stepp, L.S. (2007). Unhooked. Riverhead Books: New York.

    Tharp, A. T., DeGue, S., Valle, L. A., Brookmeyer, K. A., Massetti, G. M., & Matjasko, J.
    ===L. (2013). A systematic qualitative review of risk and protective factors for sexual
     ===violence perpetration. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 14,  133–167. Doi: ===10.1177/1524838012470031Theiss, J. A., & Solomon, D. H. (2008). Parsing the Mechanisms that Increase Relational ===Intimacy: The Effects of Uncertainty Amount, Open Communication About ===Uncertainty, and the Reduction of Uncertainty. Human Communication Research, ===34(4), 625-654. ===doi:10.1111/j.1468-2958.2008.00335.xWright, P. J., Sun, C., Steffen, N. J., & Tokunaga, R. S. (2015). Pornography, Alcohol, and ===Male Sexual Dominance. Communication Monographs, 82(2), 252-270. ===-===doi:10.1080/03637751.2014.98155


    APPENDICES

    SEMI-STRUCTURED:
    DEMOGRAPHICS:
    1) Is there a name you would like us to use for you? Otherwise, we can assign a random one to you.
    2) What is your gender?
    3) What is your age?
    4) What generation to consider yourself to belong to?
    5) What race do you identify with?
    INTERVIEW QUESTIONS:
    6) What do you consider to be a hookup?
    7) Can you tell us about your last relationship or potential relationship?
    8) How long had you known this partner before considering engaging in sexual activity?
    9)  How did you and your partner go about discovering if the other wanted to engage in sexual activity?
    10) How, why, or what made you feel comfortable speaking about consent?
    11) How, why, or what made you uncomfortable talking about consent?
    12) How many relationships have you had?
    13) Do you consider that you’ve had multiple hookups or relationships?
    SECONDARY QUESTIONS:
     1) Anything else you’d like to add?
    2) Could you tell me more about…?
    3) How did that make you feel?
    4) Was there anything more you wanted to cover?
    5) What happened after…?
    6)So how did that affect you?
    THE INTERVIEW OPENING:
    Hello, my name is Elizabeth Settles and I’m a senior at ISU studying Communication Studies. How about you?
    Today, this interview will last around 30 minutes. During this time, we will be taping the interview as well as taking notes
    It’s important that we mention that your name will be changed and will not be associated with you. We will only share these recordings and notes with our professors that are overlooking this study. At any time if you would like to discontinue or skip a question, please let us know.
    Do you have any questions before we begin?
    ENDING: 
    Before I thank you for your participation, I would like to remind you that your name will be kept confidential. Is there anything you would like us to note?
    Thank you for your time and we hope you have a great day.

     

  • 💸 9 Realistic College Budgeting Tips That Actually Work

    💸 9 Realistic College Budgeting Tips That Actually Work


    Budgeting can be hard (and kind of boring, honestly), but it’s essential — especially when you’re in college. I’ve been there! Between textbooks, rent, and late-night coffee runs, money disappears fast.
    Here are a few practical things I did in college that helped me save over $9,000 while working part-time at just above minimum wage.


    1. Work Part-Time

    Yes, you can work and still enjoy college life! Look for a flexible job that complements your schedule and builds your resume.
    If a company isn’t hiring, drop off a resume anyway — sometimes persistence pays off. If you need an internship, talk to your academic adviser about paid options. I made new friends and picked up valuable skills through part-time work.


    2. Donate Plasma (Responsibly!)

    It’s not glamorous, but donating plasma can help you earn extra cash and contribute to medical research. I went through BioLife Plasma Services, which often offers new donor coupons for extra money.


    3. Open a Checking & Savings Account

    If you don’t already have a credit union or local bank account, get one! Automate your savings — I set up a transfer to move money from checking to savings the day after payday.
    A budget planner like the Erin Condren Budget Book helped me stay organized.


    4. Buy Used & Save Big

    For two years, I didn’t buy new clothes or furniture unless it was secondhand or on sale. I loved shopping at Goodwill, eBay, and the Salvation Army.
    Fun fact: Ann Taylor donates gently worn clothing to Goodwill, so keep your eyes open for some great finds!


    5. Use Coupons & Cashback Apps

    I swear by Ibotta and Honey — they’re game-changers for saving money online.
    If you shop at Hy-Vee, load coupons directly to your Fuel Saver card for discounts on gas and groceries.


    6. Track Your Spending

    Keep a spending summary or log so you actually see where your money’s going. You can use a spreadsheet or a cute budget book like Erin Condren’s. A little tracking goes a long way!


    7. Set Up a GoFundMe

    Sometimes, friends and family want to help — they just don’t know how. A GoFundMe page can make it easy for them to support you when they’re able.


    8. Build Credit Carefully

    Credit cards can be great for building credit, but tread carefully. Use them for small purchases only, and always pay your statement balance, not just the minimum. Consider setting up auto-pay to avoid missed payments.


    9. Eat at Home (Seriously!)

    Takeout adds up fast. Cooking at home can save a ton of money — and you might even enjoy it!
    If you’re tight on cash, invite a friend to cook with you or have a potluck night. You can still have fun and stay within budget.


    ✨ Final Thoughts

    Budgeting isn’t about depriving yourself — it’s about being intentional with your money. Once you build small habits, it gets so much easier. Trust me, even a few mindful changes can make a big difference.

    Have a budgeting hack that’s worked for you? Drop it in the comments below! 👇

  • ✈️ From Iowa to Sweden: My First Days in Stockholm

    ✈️ From Iowa to Sweden: My First Days in Stockholm

    Traveling to Sweden was such an incredible adventure! I left from my hometown airport in Des Moines, Iowa, and made my way all the way to Stockholm and Oskarshamn. This trip was part of a study abroad program with classmates from KTH and Stockholm University — and it was everything I hoped it would be (and more).


    🗓️ Day One: Wheels Up!

    Departure: Des Moines Airport ✈️

    Packed, nervous, and beyond excited, I was finally heading to Sweden! It didn’t really hit me until I was in the air that I was going to be spending the next few weeks living, studying, and exploring abroad.


    🗓️ Day Two: Hello, Stockholm!

    Arrival: Arlanda Airport 🇸🇪
    Check-In: Zinkensdamm Hostel
    1:00 PM – City Tour: Gamla Stan (Old Town)
    6:00 PM – Dinner at a local Irish pub 🍽️

    Once we landed at Arlanda, we hopped on a bus that took us straight to our hostel — and let me tell you, I highly recommend Zinkensdamm Hostel. The breakfast spread was amazing (I still think about those fresh pastries), and the restaurant on-site was great too. It’s also super close to public transportation, which makes exploring Stockholm so easy.

    Now, fair warning — the rooms are definitely on the smaller side. It’s cozy, but you’ll want to pack smart! Oh, and double-check your adapters before you leave. I brought an older one and couldn’t charge my laptop at first (rookie mistake 🙃).

    That evening, our group wandered down the street to a nearby Irish pub for dinner, and I tried the lamb. It was delicious — the perfect cozy meal after a long day of travel.


    🚆 Getting Around Stockholm

    Using public transit in Stockholm is surprisingly easy! The trains are clean, efficient, and simple to navigate. That said, if you’ve got a lot of luggage, I recommend grabbing a taxi or booking a driver service for your first day.

    Since I was there for three weeks, I picked up a train pass — totally worth it. It made it so easy to hop on and off the metro whenever I wanted to explore.


    Sweden instantly felt like a second home — calm, beautiful, and full of charm. This was just the start of an unforgettable trip!✨

    18359170_10213480074184405_5792480090916822374_o.jpg



  • College Throwback: A Night at Johnny’s 🍻

    College Throwback: A Night at Johnny’s 🍻

    Okay, let’s talk about Johnny’s. If you went to Iowa State, you already know the magic — and if you haven’t been, add it to your bucket list ASAP. Going back recently gave me all the college nostalgia feels. There’s just something about being surrounded by Cyclone pride that takes you right back to game days, packed stands, and that unbeatable energy of Hilton Magic.

    Now, here’s the wild part — rumor has it you need to make a minimum donation of $12,500 for direct access to Johnny’s. Um, excuse me?! My college self could barely afford ramen noodles and Cherry Vodka Sours, let alone that. 😂 But hey, we’re manifesting. Maybe one day I’ll make that donation like a true alum baller. As Rihanna once said, “Work, work, work, work, work.”

    Let’s get to the good stuff though — the food, the bar, the atmosphere. It’s next level. I shamelessly hit up the buffet three times (because college habits die hard), and the unlimited lemonade refills? Chef’s kiss. 🥤

    The crowd, the cheers, the buzz — it’s like being wrapped in Cyclone spirit all over again. There’s something about Johnny’s that just feels like home for every ISU fan. It’s classy, it’s chaotic, it’s a total blast.

    So here’s to Johnny’s, to Hilton Magic, and to all the Cyclones who still get chills when the crowd starts chanting. Once a Cyclone, always a Cyclone. 🌪️❤️💛

     


  • From Rape Culture to Consent Culture: What We Can Learn from Sweden’s FATTA Movement

    From Rape Culture to Consent Culture: What We Can Learn from Sweden’s FATTA Movement

    I want to inspire Americans to care about reducing sexual assault, to help victims, and to change legislation with a focus on consent. I have chosen to focus on the actions of FATTA as an example of what can be done here in the USA.

    While studying abroad in Sweden, I learned about a powerful organization called FATTA — a Swedish nonprofit fighting sexual violence and advocating for consent in everyday life. FATTA was founded after a heartbreaking case in which three men accused of raping a 15-year-old girl were released because the court claimed her “modest” reaction — pushing her legs together — wasn’t enough to be considered rape.

    That moment sparked outrage and inspired a movement.

    According to Girls’ Globe, in 2012 there were over 16,700 reported sexual offenses in Sweden, with 98% of offenders being men and 95% of victims being women. By 2016, the number of reported assaults dropped to around 10,500, and while there are many factors involved, FATTA’s advocacy for consent culture has been a huge influence.


    What FATTA Stands For

    Sweden’s legal definition of rape once centered around violence and force rather than consent. FATTA challenged this outdated definition — pushing lawmakers to redefine sexual assault in terms of mutual agreement. In 2016, FATTA proposed a consent law, which emphasized that sex without consent is rape.

    They didn’t stop there. FATTA also launched FATTA Man, an initiative focused on men’s responsibility in changing social norms. Because sexual assault isn’t just a “women’s issue” — it’s a human one.

    Their advocacy gained national support. Some major music festivals in Sweden, previously plagued with assault reports, were even canceled until safer environments could be guaranteed. Bands like Mumford & Sons refused to perform until change happened.


    What About the United States?

    In the U.S., we still have a long way to go. According to RAINN, every 8 minutes, the victim of sexual assault is a child — and only 6 out of every 1,000 perpetrators are convicted.

    In Iowa, where I’m from, the law defines sexual abuse but doesn’t clearly define consent. You can read the full Iowa legal definition here. Shockingly, Des Moines Register once listed Des Moines as one of the top 100 sites for human trafficking in the U.S.

    The statistics are devastating:

    • 94% of women who’ve been raped experience PTSD symptoms.
    • 1 in 3 Native American women are victims of sexual assault.
    • Victims are 10x more likely to use major drugs and face lifelong trauma.

    These aren’t numbers. They’re real people — our friends, family members, coworkers, and neighbors.


    How We Can Create Change

    If Sweden can redefine its laws and culture around consent, we can too.

    Here’s how we can start:

    1. Educate and talk about consent — with our friends, families, and in schools.
    2. Lobby legislators to clearly define consent in U.S. law. You can find your representatives here.
    3. Create and support consent-based organizations that empower victims and change the conversation.
    4. Use your voice — whether that’s through social media, art, or advocacy, your words matter.

    It’s time we build a culture that values respect, equality, and consent.
    Let’s make it happen — it’s a party of consent in the USA.


    References & Resources

    Find Your Elected Officials

    FATTA: From Rape Culture to Consent Culture

    Girls’ Globe: A Campaign That Inspires Change

    RAINN: Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network

    BRÅ – Swedish Crime Prevention Council

    “Brett Och Station.” BRÅ – Brottsförebyggande Rådet. N.p., n.d. Web.

    Enqvist, Anna Falgén, María Rendo, Kupona Foundation, Shakira Choonara, and Gendercide Awareness Project. “FATTA: A Campaign That Inspires Change.” Girls’ Globe. N.p., 18 Mar. 2014. Web.

    From Rape Culture to Consent Culture. FATTA, fatta.nu/.

    Halpin, Hayley. “Swedish Music Festival Cancelled for 2018 following Rape and Sexual Assault Reports.” TheJournal.ie. N.p., n.d. Web.

    Rood, Lee. “Des Moines Identified as Top 100 Human Trafficking Site.” Des Moines Register. Des Moines Register, 16 Nov. 2016. Web.

    “Statistics.” Statistics | RAINN. N.p., n.d. Web.

    “Tea Consent (Clean).” YouTube. YouTube, 13 May 2015. Web.



  • The Stories That Built Me

    The Stories That Built Me

    “I have great respect for the past. If you don’t know where you’ve come from, you don’t know where you’re going.”
    Maya Angelou

    Every family has stories that shape who they are, and around Christmas a few years ago, I got to hear some of mine. My parents sat me down and shared pieces of our family history that left me in awe — stories of strength, courage, and quiet resilience that built the foundation I stand on today.

    One of those stories was about my great-grandmother’s sister, who worked down South as a schoolteacher. She was light-skinned and could pass as white — something that came with complicated privileges during that time. Across from the school was a hat shop that allowed white customers to try on hats before buying them. Black customers, however, had to purchase any hat they touched. My great-grandmother’s sister would walk into that shop and try on as many hats as she pleased, knowing she could get away with it. It was a small, almost defiant act — one that spoke volumes about navigating an unjust world with quiet boldness.

    Then there was my grandmother’s father — my great-great-grandfather. He was also light-skinned, with light eyes, and worked as a painter at a hotel. One day, he walked in with the Black maids, and his boss pulled him aside.
    “Why did you walk in with the colored women?” the boss asked.
    My great-great-grandfather simply replied, “Well, they play cards with my wife.”
    The manager, shocked, said, “Your wife? You mean to tell me you’re colored!?”
    “Yes, sir,” he said calmly.
    The boss looked around and whispered, “Look, I like you. You’re good at your job. But don’t tell anyone you’re colored, or we’ll have to fire you.”

    Hearing these stories, I felt an ache — pride mixed with sadness. These were people who carried themselves with grace and strength in the face of injustice. People who worked hard, protected their families, and found ways to keep their dignity intact in a world that didn’t always see it.

    Some might say, “The past is the past — why bring it up?” But I think remembering is an act of love. It’s how we honor the struggle, the perseverance, and the humanity that got us here. Forgetting would mean erasing the very roots that keep us grounded.

    If I could talk to them today, I’d tell them how proud I am — proud of the resilience that runs through our blood, proud of the lessons they left behind, proud to carry their spirit forward.

    Resilience. That’s what created me.

    “You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone’s soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose… That is your role, your gift.”
    Erin Morgenstern


  • The Magic That Stays With You ✨Page 394

    The Magic That Stays With You ✨Page 394

    If you know me at all, this post probably won’t surprise you — because yes, I’m that person who still adores Harry Potter. The books, the movies, the characters… they’ve been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.

    When I heard about Alan Rickman’s passing, I felt this wave of nostalgia and sadness. It reminded me just how much these stories have shaped me.

    I still remember one Halloween in elementary school when I dressed up as Hermione. It was the perfect costume — all I needed was my curly, slightly wild hair and a wand. My mom even entered me in a Hermione lookalike contest at our local bookstore (I felt so cool).

    To this day, whenever I’m sick, bored, or just need something comforting, Harry Potter is my go-to. It’s like revisiting old friends who know exactly how to make things better. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to relate to the characters in new ways — especially Severus Snape. Alan Rickman brought such depth and humanity to that character. His performance taught me that people are rarely just good or bad — there’s so much in between.

    I love that these characters — Hermione, Luna, Snape — still live with me in some way. They’ve grown up with me, comforted me, and inspired me.

    So thank you, Alan Rickman, for giving life to one of the most complex and unforgettable characters in the wizarding world. Always. ⚡