Cupcakes & Tea with Elizabeth

Tag: personal growth

  • Finding My Voice: Reflections on Race, Resilience, and Hope

    Finding My Voice: Reflections on Race, Resilience, and Hope

    The last couple of months have been heavy — really heavy. Between living through a global pandemic and witnessing the ongoing fight against police brutality and racism, it’s been a lot to process. Today, I wanted to slow down, take a deep breath, and write from the heart about some of my personal experiences and how I’m feeling right now.

    Growing up, I had “the talk” — the one that so many Black families have. It wasn’t about birds or bees; it was about how to act around police and how to keep myself safe. I learned early on that if something ever happened, I should call my family first — not necessarily the police. It’s an unfair reality, but it’s one that has been passed down through generations.

    As someone who’s mixed, my experience has always existed in a sort of in-between space. I’ve been surrounded by love from family on all sides, but I’ve also had to sit through uncomfortable moments — moments when people questioned white privilege, dismissed “Black Lives Matter” with “Blue Lives Matter,” or ignored racism simply because it didn’t affect them personally. Those conversations hurt. They chipped away at something inside me for a while.

    But instead of letting that pain change how I see myself, it changed how I see them.
    It taught me who was willing to listen — and who wasn’t. It showed me that silence in the face of racism is just another form of harm. And though it’s exhausting to always be the one explaining why Black lives matter, I’ve learned to find strength in my voice.

    Sometimes, I still feel drained — like I’ve hit a wall. It’s frustrating to live in a world where I have to defend my humanity, to explain history that’s easily accessible if people just cared enough to learn. But at the same time, I have hope. I see friends, family, and communities showing up, speaking out, and learning how to be better allies.

    That gives me strength.
    That gives me peace.

    I’m still learning how to navigate certain relationships — especially with people I love who hold views I can’t support. But I know I’ll find what’s right for me, and I hope you will too.

    Change takes courage. It takes compassion. And it takes choosing to care, every single day. I still believe we can get there — with open hearts, honest conversations, and a shared hope for something better.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ3in6eZb9w
  • When Love Isn’t Love: Breaking Free from Emotional Convenience

    When Love Isn’t Love: Breaking Free from Emotional Convenience

    Have you ever loved someone so deeply that it consumed you? The kind of love where you give everything—your time, your energy, your heart—only to realize they keep you around simply because it’s convenient for them?

    They lie. They pull you down. You start to see it happening, yet you stay, hoping that maybe this time they’ll mean it when they say they care. Sometimes, it even feels real—and that’s what makes it so confusing.

    You keep showing up for them, giving them chance after chance, but somehow, you’re always in last place. Maybe they even tell you that outright, and suddenly you find yourself competing for a spot you should have never had to earn. They break you, tear you down, and when you’re at your lowest, they lift you just enough to keep you there—never free, never whole.

    You cry while they sleep peacefully. You replay every word while they’ve already moved on to the next distraction. They hold onto the things that matter most to you and weaponize them whenever they start to lose control.

    If this sounds familiar, I hope you hear this clearly: don’t accept it.
    End the cycle. You deserve more than love that only exists when it’s convenient.

    “The soul answered and said, What binds me has been slain, and what turns me about has been overcome, and my desire has been ended, and ignorance has died.”
    — The Gospel of Mary

  • That One Time in French Class…

    That One Time in French Class…

    You know those random memories that pop into your head out of nowhere and make you instantly cringe? That was me this morning on my drive to work. Out of the blue, I remembered one of my most embarrassing high school moments — and honestly, it still makes me laugh and cringe all at once.

    It was 2011, and I was a shy sophomore in my beginner’s French class. At the start of the year, we all got to choose a “French name” to go by for the semester. I picked Zazie (because someone else had already snagged Gigi, and yes, I was slightly bitter about it 😆).

    One day, I arrived to class a few minutes early and asked to use the bathroom. Totally normal, right? But as I’m in there minding my own business, I suddenly hear my teacher’s voice — calling out “Zazie!” in a perfect French accent. I froze mid-sentence (and mid-bathroom break). My first thought? Wait… did she follow me in here? It was so weird that I just stayed quiet, hoping I was imagining it.

    A few minutes later, the bell rings, and I walk back to class, proud of myself for not being late. But the second I walk in, the entire room is silent. My teacher stands up, looks right at me, and asks me to step into the hallway. I was so sure she was about to praise me or something — because that’s what she usually did when she pulled students aside.

    Nope.
    She accused me of lying about being in the bathroom.

    My jaw dropped. I was mortified. I told her I really was in the bathroom, and that I did hear her voice, but thought it was weird and didn’t know how to respond. She just shook her head and said, “No, you didn’t. You need to tell your friends what to do,” before walking back into the classroom — leaving the door wide open for everyone to hear.

    And there I was, bright red, walking back into class like nothing happened. Everyone stared for a second, then the lesson just… continued.

    Now, years later, it’s one of those stories that makes me laugh every time. I still have no idea why she thought I was lying, but I’ll never forget how small that moment made me feel — or how it quietly taught me to always speak up when someone gets it wrong.

    It’s funny how embarrassing moments can turn into lifelong lessons.
    (But seriously — what was that whole bathroom situation?!) 😂

    Do you have a high school story that still makes you cringe or laugh out loud? Drop it in the comments below — misery loves company!

    Drop some of your stories below!

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    Cozy Holiday Traditions I’m Bringing Into Motherhood

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  • Recognizing Manipulation and Narcissistic Behavior (and Protect Your Peace)

    Recognizing Manipulation and Narcissistic Behavior (and Protect Your Peace)

    I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how easy it is for manipulation to sneak into our lives — sometimes through relationships, friendships, or even at work. It doesn’t always start with obvious red flags. Sometimes it’s subtle — a guilt trip here, a twisted story there — until one day you realize something feels off.

    Let’s start with what manipulation actually means.

    Manipulate (verb):
    To manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner — like manipulating someone’s feelings.

    Pretty straightforward, right? But when you see it play out in real life, it can be messy and confusing.

    When Manipulation Turns Toxic

    Manipulative people tend to act with their own interests in mind. They might hurt you intentionally, then pretend nothing happened. They may even gather harmless bits of information from you — only to use it later when it benefits them.

    At its worst, this behavior can overlap with traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) — which often includes:

    • An inflated sense of self-importance
    • A deep need for attention or admiration
    • A lack of empathy for others
    • Difficulty maintaining healthy relationships

    What’s tough is that people who manipulate rarely feel genuine remorse. They might say they do, but their actions usually tell a different story. If you call them out, they’ll often deflect, deny, or make it seem like you’re the one at fault.

    The Emotional “Gotcha” Game

    Have you ever had someone deliberately push your buttons, just to get a reaction?
    That’s exactly what manipulators want — an emotional “aha!” moment. They’ll poke at your insecurities or twist your words until you snap, then say things like:

    “See, I knew you were overreacting.”
    “You’re always so dramatic.”

    Sound familiar? It’s a classic move to shift blame and make you doubt yourself. But here’s the truth — your reaction is valid. Their behavior is what caused it, not you. The best way to handle it? Stay calm, breathe, and don’t let them drag you into their chaos.

    Listen to Your Gut

    Your intuition is powerful. If you feel uneasy around someone or constantly second-guess yourself, that’s not “overthinking” — that’s awareness. Trust it.

    Manipulators often start off charming and attentive, giving you all the validation you could want. Then, little by little, they pull away — leaving you wondering what changed. That emotional whiplash keeps you hooked, trying to get back to the version of them that doesn’t really exist.

    You don’t owe anyone endless chances or explanations. Protect your energy. If something feels off, it probably is.

    Believe it! Trust your intuition.

    Examples of Manipulative Behavior

    Manipulative or narcissistic individuals may:

    • Intentionally hurt you, then act like nothing happened.
    • Use your words or vulnerabilities against you later.
    • Twist facts or shift blame with phrases like “That’s up to you, believe what you want.”
    • Refuse to take responsibility, making you feel like the problem.
    • Withdraw affection or attention to keep you chasing their approval.

    These patterns are emotionally exhausting — and you don’t have to tolerate them. Awareness is the first step toward protecting yourself and building healthier relationships.

    Final Thoughts

    No one is perfect. We all have moments where we act selfishly or fail to communicate clearly. The difference lies in whether someone is willing to listen, learn, and grow — or whether they keep repeating the same harmful patterns.

    The key takeaway? Stay aware. Trust your gut. Set boundaries.
    And remember — manipulation says far more about them than it ever does about you.

  • Tough Love and Tender Care: My Wake-Up Call with Diabetes

    Tough Love and Tender Care: My Wake-Up Call with Diabetes

    Tender. Loving. Care.

    We could all use a little more of that.

    Lately, I’ve had to face a hard truth — my diabetes is not under control. My blood sugar is high, my weight is up, and my gums are a mess. And yet… I haven’t been doing much to change my habits. It’s easy to talk about people who struggle with their health, but the truth is, I’m no different. Every day I make choices that put my own health at risk.

    Take this morning, for example: I had multigrain toast absolutely covered in Nutella. Not a “just-a-little” situation — I mean covered. Then, of course, I turned around and complained about how awful I felt and how dry and swollen my hands were. The pattern is clear — I keep sabotaging myself.

    A Look Back

    Back in my freshman year of college, I decided I needed to make a big change. After months of ups and downs, I finally focused on both my mental and physical health. Within six months, I lost over 40 pounds through diet and exercise — going from around 150 pounds to 105.

    In the beginning, though, my diet was pretty extreme. I ate very low-carb, counted calories religiously, and allowed myself only one cheat meal a week. Eventually, I relaxed into a more balanced diet and felt healthier overall — confident, lighter, and more “me.” This was all before I was diagnosed with diabetes.

    Fast Forward to Now

    Over time, I slipped back into old habits. I’ve regained the weight and lost most of the muscle I worked so hard for. That wouldn’t be the end of the world… if I weren’t diabetic. But now, my blood sugar, diet, and exercise matter more than ever.

    Honestly, it’s tough. When I get home and see a big plate of pasta waiting for me, it feels impossible to resist. But I know I need to find balance again. My body has been trying to tell me something — I’ve been sick more often, with weird flu-like illnesses, and I was even hospitalized not long ago. Maybe those things are connected, maybe not. But one thing is clear: my diabetes being out of control definitely isn’t helping.

    Moving Forward with Care

    I know I can’t keep blaming being busy, broke, or tired. At some point, I have to take responsibility and start treating my body with the same tender, loving care I give to others.

    So that’s my goal — to show myself a little more grace and discipline at the same time. To eat better, move more, and find a healthier balance with diabetes.

    If you’ve gone through something similar, I’d love to hear your story. Drop your advice, struggles, or little wins in the comments — let’s lift each other up.

  • Reflections from Sweden: My Grandma’s (Mormor) Words and the Vasa Ship

    Reflections from Sweden: My Grandma’s (Mormor) Words and the Vasa Ship

    While in Sweden, I came across one of my grandma’s old diary entries from her own trip decades ago. On a page titled “Comparisons,” she wrote:

    “Comparison:
    In those days, people feared things
    like lion’s faces. We fear things in
    the shape of mushroom clouds — nuclear bombs.”
    ~ June 1986

    She was writing about the Vasa Ship, the 17th-century Swedish warship that famously sank on its maiden voyage and was later recovered and preserved. The “lion’s face” she mentions refers to the carved lion figurehead at the front of the ship — a symbol of courage and power that’s been part of Swedish culture since medieval times.

    Reading her words while visiting the Vasa Museum myself in the summer of 2017 was surreal. It felt like we were sharing a moment across time — her thoughts from 1986 intertwining with my own experiences.

    I remember watching teams of researchers working carefully on the ship, preserving it for future generations. The recreated colors of the Vasa were so vivid and striking — a reminder that history can breathe again when we take the time to care for it.

    Her reflection about fear — how it changes shape across generations — stuck with me. The world she knew was different, yet her words still ring true.

    Maybe that’s the beauty of shared experiences: even when years and oceans separate us, our thoughts and emotions still find a way to connect.

    vasa2

    VASA
    A picture of the lion I took at the Vasa Museum!

  • Inspiration Boards & Unapologetic Role Models

    Inspiration Boards & Unapologetic Role Models

    Have you ever watched The Secret? It’s one of those self-help documentaries that really makes you think about how powerful your mindset can be. One of my favorite takeaways was the idea of creating a vision board (or as I like to call it, an inspiration board). It’s such a simple but meaningful way to keep your goals front and center — a daily reminder of what you’re working toward. The idea is that what you focus on, you attract. ✨

    Lately, I’ve been filling my inspiration board with incredible womxn who remind me what strength, confidence, and authenticity look like — Mareena Robinson Snowden, Tarana Burke, and Amandla Stenberg.

    Mareena Robinson Snowden is the first Black womxn to earn a Ph.D. in nuclear engineering from MIT. How amazing is that?! She’s brilliant, driven, and unapologetically herself. I love that she’s so open about her journey — how she wasn’t always sure STEM was for her, but with persistence, support, and curiosity, she carved her path. She reminds me that Black is professional, and that confidence is something you build, not something you’re just born with.

    Tarana Burke — what an honor it was to meet her while I was a student at Iowa State University. As the founder of the movement, she spoke with such honesty and power. I remember leaving that lecture feeling seen, hopeful, and inspired to take action. When someone asked her what comes next for the movement, she said simply: “You.” That has stayed with me ever since. Her message was clear — if you want change, be part of it. Lift others up. Support, don’t tear down.

    And then there’s Amandla Stenberg. I admire her so much for her activism and her willingness to speak truth to power. She even turned down a role in Black Panther so that a darker-skinned actress could take it instead. That’s the kind of integrity and awareness that makes her such a role model. She celebrates Blackness in all its beauty and complexity — and that’s powerful.

    These womxn have one thing in common: they work hard, lift others up, and live unapologetically. They remind me that confidence, compassion, and courage are all connected.

    And of course, I can’t forget my honorable mentions: Michelle Obama, Zoë Kravitz, Gabrielle Union, Natalie Portman, and Reese Witherspoon — all inspiring in their own unique ways. 🌸

    Here’s to filling our vision boards — and our lives — with purpose, strength, and the people who remind us to shine without apology.

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    Bring a Little Irish Magic Into Your Year: My New Gaeilge & English 2026 Planner

    Bring a touch of Ireland into your everyday routine with my new 2026 bilingual Irish & English planner and matching journal. Inspired by my own Irish heritage and a meaningful family trip to Ireland, this cozy set blends culture, intentional planning, and the magic of Gaeilge into one beautiful keepsake. Perfect for travelers, heritage lovers,…

    by Elizabeth

    Taylor Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl: Fun and Flawed

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    ⭐ Sinners (2025) Review — The Movie That Just Stole My Whole Heart

    Sinners has completely taken over my life — so much so that it’s officially dethroned Harry Potter for me. 🎉 While it’s marketed as a horror/vampire movie, Sinners is so much more. It’s a powerful blend of history, culture, music, and resilience wrapped in Ryan Coogler’s signature storytelling. With Michael B. Jordan leading the cast…

    by Elizabeth
  • Following My Grandma’s Footsteps in Sweden: Reflections on Equality, Culture & Connection

    Following My Grandma’s Footsteps in Sweden: Reflections on Equality, Culture & Connection

    While reading through my grandmother’s travel diary from her time in Sweden, I came across an entry that stopped me in my tracks:

    “Swedes are allowed to go anywhere, eat in the grass at the palace lawn, see parks as they wish. The new law is that the Princess who is older than her brother will be queen. We Swedes are implementing equal rights for women!”
    ~ Vivian Olson, June 17th

    I found myself smiling — not just because of her words, but because I had nearly the same thoughts during my own visit to Sweden decades later.

    There’s something truly special about how open and accessible life feels there. I remember watching newlyweds taking photos outside a royal palace, families picnicking on the palace lawn, and children playing with their dogs in the gardens. In so many other parts of the world, these spaces are roped off or reserved for the elite. But in Sweden, the royal grounds feel like they belong to everyone. That sense of shared belonging left such an impression on me.

    Just as my grandma observed, Sweden continues to lead with progressive values — especially when it comes to gender equality. Women have a strong voice in government, and citizens tend to vote based on values and policies rather than gender. It’s a refreshing contrast to what I often see in the U.S., where the focus can still be on who is breaking barriers instead of why they’re leading.

    Yet, even in Sweden, there’s acknowledgment that progress is ongoing. Equality is not a finish line but a continual effort — a mindset I think both our nations are still navigating.

    I love seeing how my grandmother’s reflections and mine intertwine — two generations apart, yet observing the same beauty in everyday freedoms and the same hope for equality. Her words remind me how much our perspectives are shaped by those who came before us, and how their journeys continue to guide our own.

    Side Note: Some Swedes still feel their country has work to do in reaching full equality — which makes me wonder: how far behind is the U.S.? Are we striving toward an ideal that even the most progressive nations are still perfecting?

  • A Sense of Unity — Connecting with My Grandmother in Sweden

    A Sense of Unity — Connecting with My Grandmother in Sweden

    Peak morning, this sunny mile through peaceful wooden Sweden,
    sense of a unity of my blood with all I see.
    I wish Mom would have seen this.
    It is so wonderful to think it is my heritage,
    this graceful, serene land.
    Saw a deer back in the wood.”

    — Vivian Olson, June 15th, 1986

    Reading this entry from my grandmother’s diary fills me with so much warmth. When I picture being back in Sweden, it feels like home — calm, familiar, and full of quiet beauty. In so many ways, I feel like my grandparents are there with me, walking those same sunlit paths and breathing in the same crisp air.

    During my own visit to Sweden, I often found myself thinking about those who came before me — the generations that shaped who I am today. My grandma and I both experienced the same awe for the Swedish landscape, the same peace in its forests, and the same feeling of belonging that transcends time.

    There’s something incredibly special about reading her words and realizing we shared this deep appreciation for the country that’s part of our heritage. Her poems and reflections remind me that history doesn’t just repeat itself — it connects us. Even though she’s gone, her voice continues to guide me, bridging the past and present in the most beautiful way.

  • The Stories That Built Me

    The Stories That Built Me

    “I have great respect for the past. If you don’t know where you’ve come from, you don’t know where you’re going.”
    — Maya Angelou

    Every family has stories that shape who they are, and around Christmas a few years ago, I got to hear some of mine. My parents sat me down and shared pieces of our family history that left me in awe — stories of strength, courage, and quiet resilience that built the foundation I stand on today.

    One of those stories was about my great-grandmother’s sister, who worked down South as a schoolteacher. She was light-skinned and could pass as white — something that came with complicated privileges during that time. Across from the school was a hat shop that allowed white customers to try on hats before buying them. Black customers, however, had to purchase any hat they touched. My great-grandmother’s sister would walk into that shop and try on as many hats as she pleased, knowing she could get away with it. It was a small, almost defiant act — one that spoke volumes about navigating an unjust world with quiet boldness.

    Then there was my grandmother’s father — my great-great-grandfather. He was also light-skinned, with light eyes, and worked as a painter at a hotel. One day, he walked in with the Black maids, and his boss pulled him aside.
    “Why did you walk in with the colored women?” the boss asked.
    My great-great-grandfather simply replied, “Well, they play cards with my wife.”
    The manager, shocked, said, “Your wife? You mean to tell me you’re colored!?”
    “Yes, sir,” he said calmly.
    The boss looked around and whispered, “Look, I like you. You’re good at your job. But don’t tell anyone you’re colored, or we’ll have to fire you.”

    Hearing these stories, I felt an ache — pride mixed with sadness. These were people who carried themselves with grace and strength in the face of injustice. People who worked hard, protected their families, and found ways to keep their dignity intact in a world that didn’t always see it.

    Some might say, “The past is the past — why bring it up?” But I think remembering is an act of love. It’s how we honor the struggle, the perseverance, and the humanity that got us here. Forgetting would mean erasing the very roots that keep us grounded.

    If I could talk to them today, I’d tell them how proud I am — proud of the resilience that runs through our blood, proud of the lessons they left behind, proud to carry their spirit forward.

    Resilience. That’s what created me.

    “You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone’s soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose… That is your role, your gift.”
    — Erin Morgenstern